my favorite activity is pretending that i can sing
imagine being in ravenclaw and going back to your common room stumbling drunk in the middle of the night after a magical night of partying and having to answer a fucking riddle in order to get in your own goddamn bedroom
"what gets wetter and wetter the more it dries"
"your mom eeyyyyyyy"
I have a friend who is dyslexic and one time he said “I put the sexy into dyslexia”and he waited for like thirty seconds and just went “fuck”.